The Andrew formerly known as Prince is not going to like this!
Yes, I’m sure every one is glad their tax money is being spent on drafts and debates on laws like this. Great job…
I don’t like where the world is headed with these new laws.
If you regulate or ban this type of stuff I think you just end up with sexually frustrated people who instead of watching their porn (which has become outlawed), now go find someone to enact their will on forcefully.
That’s just a theory of mine based on zero facts, but just what my brain has powerfully concocted.
Shall I take this as them being fans of the popular 2 girls 1 cup?
Under new uk law you’ll be mandated to watch at least 2 hours of scat porn per day. All other forms of pornography will be illegal.
As most of what British people eat barely classifies as food, they’ll begin slowly replacing food with actual human feces, thus saving large amounts of money on food expenditures.
Trying to regulate people’s kinks is probably not going to stop the kinks from being kinks.
Ah sorry government - you guys rejected the option to regulate porn. Nowadays nobody watches porn in the UK, people watch it “from Switzerland” instead. Go ask them to regulate.
I understand why they want to, but professionals give and have, consent. This is just kink shaming, honestly.
There’s already done fairly aggressive agree verification laws there that were recently enacted, if memory serves me correctly, so now you’re telling agree verified adults what they can, or cannot, watch.
I have zero doubt that the actors in the adult films depicting these kinds of scenarios are consenting adults. And while it may not be everyone’s kink, it is some people’s. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. You’re an adult. Deal with it.
Making laws so that everyone needs to abide by what you think is acceptable in terms of sexually explicit material, is ridiculous, with the only caveat being that all people involved must be consenting adults (depictions of non-adults is another legal matter entirely, and should continue to not be permitted - this is one of the few exceptions to the rule).
And animals.
That’s wrong too.
Because they can’t consent. It’s also fucking gross but that’s secondary.
Excepting dolphins I guess. They’re highly intelligent and all kinds of horny so morally it’s probably okay to fuck a dolphin though it’s very very fucked up.
I think the main thing was that kids are going to watch it, and getting some very odd ideas about what normal boring vanilla shagging looks like… Also, it’s mostly men choking women.
Although since it’s now physically impossible for children to watch porn, maybe we don’t need this any more?
Listen there are no people on this Earth less qualified to tell us what normal sex is like than the people who brought us the Victorian age.
Then, the solution would be to properly educate children about sex and consent.
Which right wingers also don’t want to happen…
Like how they outlawed any bdsm porn for a few years. People are just going to use VPNs. What a waste of time and money. The planet is burning, billionaires are killing and the government is banning kinky porn
I mean, we all use VPNs to wank now anyway, so why not?
Burn JK Rowling alive
Choking kinks soar.
But they’ll have to learn to do it right on their own because virtually all the porn is gone due to containing it. Since some newbies will inevitably accidentally go too far with it, suddenly manslaughter (if that’s what it’s called in the UK) cases soar as well.
Hey AI, choke me video please
I watched a YT video by Dr Angela Collier on Richard Feynman. She drops this incredibly alarming stat that if a partner chokes you, you are 750% more likely to be murdered by that partner. I get that the kink isn’t 1:1 but it does make me wonder if there’s any relation.
Edited to include link to the paper.
I feel like the context of whether it’s consensual or not is the real factor there. BUT a lot of the edgier kinks can become even more dangerous since people are uncomfortable talking/asking questions, so maybe it’s more complicated.
Oh yeah for sure, that stat is undoubtedly in the context of argument/non-consent; not a consensual kink dynamic. I wondered if it’s because they don’t want to normalise it due to worrying about it carrying over to circumstances outside consensual sex dynamics. Like an abuser trying to argue it being in a BDSM dynamic when it’s actually an abusive one.
Way too many people try things they see in porn without doing proper research practice or consents. 50 shades of grey was a terrible time for the bdsm community
Those books were rape-manuals
When I was single, the second a woman would say “oh, you’re like a real-life Christian Grey” I would know immediately that we weren’t compatible
Research shows strangulation is never a safe practice, despite a widespread belief it can be performed safely. Though it often leaves no visible injury, oxygen deprivation, even for very short moments, causes changes to the fragile structures of the brain.
Multiple studies have specifically shown brain changes in women who have been repeatedly “choked” during sex, including markers for brain damage and disruptions in brain hemispheres linked to depression and anxiety.
To be honest that actually seems like reason enough even if it is genuinely consensual
Though it often leaves no visible injury, oxygen deprivation, even for very short moments, causes changes to the fragile structures of the brain.
Does this also apply to holding your breath?
Strangulation (done (in)correctly) can cut off the blood flow to the brain, which halts oxygen delivery to the tissues. Holding your breath just causes oxygen delivery to the blood to stop. Your body has enough blood and oxygen in it to last for a few minutes without breathing, but only as long as it is circulating to the tissues that require it.
While holding your breath, the ratio of carbon dioxide to oxygen will steadily increase, which will eventually trigger some chemoreceptors and force a reflexive diaphragmatic contraction.
Good to know, thanks for posting!
If someone dies you’re very unlikely that you’re getting away with it even if you have firm evidence of consent such as it occurring in a freak accident at a well monitored event. At least that’s what the kink educators I’ve heard from have all said.
What does Feynman have to do with sexual choking? 😅
Unfortunately, it was a non-sexual, DV kind of choking from my understanding.
What’s DV?
Accidentally deleted my reply but you’ll likely see it in your inbox still, whoops.
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Maybe I’m not fully awake, but I don’t understand how that stat could be calculated. How the hell would anyone know the kinks at play in a representative subset of all abusive relationship that have ended in murder?
As I mention in another reply the stat refers to abuse not kink play. Likely polled abuse/DV victims and then followed up with them, but that just a guess. I’ll link the study later if I can track it down.
Oh yeah non consensual choking is a “make a plan to get out now” situation.
In kink I’m actually still generally against it, but in a “this is way higher risk profile than a lot of people think” way. Banning it won’t help, proper kink educational resources will.
They interview the murder victim.
A seance, you say? Choked to death, you say?
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Strangulation is among the most lethal forms of domestic violence – and being strangled increases the risk of being killed in the future by 750%. Along with an alarming increase in reported strangulations in Western New York,
The article shown in her video.
Non-fatal strangulation was reported in 10% of abused controls, 45% of attempted homicides and 43% of homicides. Prior non-fatal strangulation was associated with greater than six-fold odds (OR 6.70, 95% CI 3.91–11.49) of becoming an attempted homicide, and over seven-fold odds (OR 7.48, 95% CI 4.53–12.35) of becoming a completed homicide.
Very curious as to what you based your assumption on it being “fabricated” on though.
Edit: Got nothing to say after the study is provided to you after baselessly claiming it was “fabricated” but hanging around to downvote my replies in child comments. Brave man.
Even if that stat is correct, you’ve made the wrong conclusion.
This stat is saying if your partner chokes you in an act of violence (non-consenually) then the risk goes up. The key point being that if someone is willing to choke you in violence, they’re likely to escalate further.
Even if that stat is correct
Given the other person claimed it was “fabricated” and I’ve provided the same study that was cited in the video, that’s probably all I need to hear from you about this but anyway.
This stat is saying if your partner chokes you in an act of violence (non-consenually) then the risk goes up. The key point being that if someone is willing to choke you in violence, they’re likely to escalate further.
I not only reference that in the initial comment but specifically state that in others in the comment chain.
Given she’s a science communicator with a PhD in theoretical physics, my instinct wasn’t to immediately assume she “fabricated” this stat.
What are your chances of being murdered by your partner anyway? Just say if it’s 0.1%, then that makes it 0.75%.
I’m not quite sure what it is exactly you’re asking and I don’t want to presume. That aside, your risk of being murdered increasing by that amount is wild and definitely worth knowing. Small percentages only seem small in the macro. It was framed in a manner similar to how another poster in this thread stated. “If you didn’t already know, if this has happened to you, you need to make plans to leave. Now, because your life is literally in danger” sort of thing. Abusers specialise in marginalising the concerns of their partners, especially insofar as their abuse and its consequences for their partners.
Yeah, although there might be more telling signs of abusive behaviour
True there typically is but it’s pretty variable unfortunately.
Lotta goth girls about to be out of a job
I’ll be honest, looking at the comments, I’m kind of shocked at just how many people are into strangulation porn.
Most kinks I can see the appeal, even if it doesn’t do it for me personally. Strangulation stuff, though, just looks overly-aggressive and rapey. I get some people might like how it feels, but as porn, the visuals don’t present as consensual or fun.
Strangulation stuff, though, just looks overly-aggressive and rapey
funny you should say that…considering all the various types of non-con is probably one of the most common kinks, somebody wanting you so much they’re willing to “break the rules”…gets alot of people going.
foot kink…now that’s a weird one, have never found someone able to explain being into feet
I can’t speak as to why people like strangulation porn, since porn has never done anything for me, but I can elaborate a bit from the perspective of someone who is into being choked and other BDSM stuff. How it feels is definitely part of it, but a lot of it is playing into a power dynamic and exploring otherwise risky behaviors in a safe and consensual manner. I have no interest in being hurt by a stranger, but pain enacted by someone I trust in a safe environment where I am in total control is both fun and cathartic, as someone who has been assaulted. I suspect those that watch porn with choking watch it because they enjoy it, or wish to, themselves. If I was to watch porn, I’d probably prefer to watch something that I relate to and enjoy in my own sex life. The reasons to enjoy watching it are surely as varied as the reasons people enjoy performing it. Knowing that everyone involved is consenting and have layers of safety precautions in place probably helps as well.
You are falling into the puritanical way of thinking.
Just because something is unattractive or gross to you doesn’t mean we should prevent consenting adults from doing what they want.
Also this shit is being pushed by JK Rowling and her trolls to start changing the convo to be about which porn is “immoral” , and everyone who tries to decide what porn is “normal” eventually goes after LGBTQIA people.
It’s like you didn’t read the comment. At all.
I feel like you’re replying to a completely different comment than to what I actually wrote.
I never said it should be banned because I find it “gross”.
If two consenting adults want to do this kind of thing, more power to them. I even said that I get that some people like the way it feels.
And although JK Rowling and her ghouls might be jumping on this, it’s not happening because of them. This is something that’s been a long time coming, and is being pushed by medical professionals in response to the increase in young people being seriously injured and killed while doing this.
Just because I’m not with you, doesn’t mean that I’m against you. That’s the kind of psychotic black-and-white thinking that Rowling really embodies.
I never said it should be banned because I find it “gross”.
.
Strangulation stuff, though, just looks overly-aggressive and rapey.
Pick one
When you come into these spaces and try to make consensual kinks problematic, you might not even understand that is advocating AGAINST them, but that’s what you are doing.
Also, you just admitted you believe the made-up bullshit about “savijg the kids,” and the banning of porn for the kids’ sake is literally alt-right propaganda.
There’s no “study” you can show that makes it acceptable to attack and ban human expression.
You have the option to force ignorance on everyone, or educate everyone, and you are advocating for forced ignorance.
It’s like you are the perfect example of how well intentioned people fall into fascist beliefs out of ignorance.
I said that I don’t get the appeal and explained why it doesn’t do it for me.
I didn’t call for a ban on the porn. I didn’t say that people shouldn’t do it within their own homes. I didn’t say anything about “saving the kids”.
I literally just provided the reasons that the UK government is doing this, as stated by the UK government. It’s not an alt-right conspiracy.
It’s like you are the perfect example of how passionate people can come across as psychotic by projecting wildly onto strangers on the internet.
If you don’t want those things to be banned, you need to recognize how your rhetoric supports the banning of those things.
Either that or stop repeating them because someone else points it out for you.
There isn’t a reason for you to advocate for the devil. So don’t do it.
Are you actually insane?
My original post was me saying that I’m surprised choking porn is so popular, that it’s not my thing and explained why.
That was it.
Every reply since that has been me correcting you, because you keep accusing me of saying and wanting things that I didn’t and don’t.
I’m not playing devil’s advocate, I’m just trying to defend myself in response to your accusations, of being pro-censorship, pre-fascist, and of saying things that I didn’t actually say.
Read the posts again. I’m not your enemy.
If you get sexual gratification from strangling your partner you are a psycho and belong in prison
read some of the cases at https://wecantconsenttothis.uk/
Usually it’s sexual gratification coming FROM the person being choked, not the satisfaction of the person doing the choking.
God forbid people use RACK play in the bedroom between two consenting adults. Did you know that if you enjoy knife play you’re also a murderer?
Honestly I don’t fuck with either of these kinks. I get that responsible people can have these kinks and compartmentalize it. But the few women I’ve come into contact with that had these kinks, had several other red flags and this was just what finally turned me away. One girl asked me to choke her till she bruised, and I immediately went limp. My only thought was “she’s trying to go to the cops with evidence. Nope!” I bolted and we talked later, maybe it wasn’t that, but we never went further than small talk after that.
And that’s fine you’re not into it!
Right, I let her be, and didn’t call her a psycho. Live and let live, but I’m gonna slowly back out of the door.
Fully understandable and valid! Genuinely, you did pretty well.
I briefly dated a man who often choked me, despite me explicitly asking him not to every time. He thought it’s harmless and said he saw it “on TV”. He never asked permission either. For me, it was uncomfortable and scary. I approve of the ban. It’s scary how chocking is normalized when it’s potentially very dangerous for a partner.
That is fucked up, but peoples individual/anecdotal experience is not what should drive lawmaking. If we banned everything that was ever done in a non consensual way, then sex would be illegal.
peoples individual/anecdotal experience is not what should drive lawmaking
Says who? Certainly not the people who make laws.
Thats why i wrote “not what should” instead of “not what does”. Politicians and lawmakers doing dumb things does not make them any less dumb.
any less dumb
Ah I see, so it’s not a moral thing, just an I-don’t-like-it thing.
My ex loved being choked and I didnt like doing it cause I was worried that I would hurt her. Maybe if I had watched more strangulation porn as a teen I would’ve been able to satisfy her and she wouldn’t’ve left me.
Therefore based on my experience, I think all non-strangulation porn should be banned.
Permission is not something that’s taken lightly with people who are actually into that sort of thing.
I’m guessing that guy was experimenting and didn’t understand what he should be doing. I know, and have known many people into many kinks that are either bdsm or bdsm adjacent, and consent is paramount for everyone. The amount of trust you have to have in someone to be completely immobilized while they do what they want is immense, and cannot be taken lightly. This concept penetrates the groups of people who have those kinds of kinks.
At the very least, as soon as you said that you didn’t want him to do it, it should have been completely stopped, that should have been the end of it. If he wants someone who will participate in those acts with him, then he can look elsewhere.
For all the people I know who are into bdsm, or into similar fetishes, I must condemn this kind of behavior. They would not approve, I do not approve, and anyone rational should also not approve of these actions.
You speak of this in the past tense, so I assume you left and hopefully found someone who respects your boundaries. I’m sorry that you went through that and I hope you’re doing well.
I see what you mean. I’ve had partners who loved it. so it does have a place within consensual power games.
That said, seems like better education about consent and safety would be useful.
Why do these comments always read the same? The same tone, the same flow of words and wording. This reads like a very short version of an “AMITAH” post.
I briefly dated a man who often choked me, despite me explicitly asking him not to every time.
No, you were assaulted
He thought it’s harmless and said he saw it “on TV”
Saw it on tv… TV??? Not on the internet, or on a porno, but on the very outdated “on tv”? And choking is “harmless”??? Pressing X to doubt.
He never asked permission either.
Back to the assault bit
For me, it was uncomfortable and scary.
No fucking shit!!!
I approve of the ban. It’s scary how chocking is normalized when it’s potentially very dangerous for a partner.
- When was this ever normalised?
- No shit.
- Robot says what?
Probably because they’re written by a person who’s suffered abuse. That kind of trauma leads to all sorts of artifacts in composition such as passive voice and downplaying the horror of the experience. How about we take a deep breath and don’t fucking discect a SA survivors story.
I disagree with the ban but things like this do happen and it’s more proof that comprehensive sex ed is more important than ever.
Yeah, but they all look the same… Its not that its off, its that its off in the exact same way that everyone else is off. Do you get me? Youre right, trauma can manifest in writing things out in weird bursts. Disjointed, weird syntax, etc etc. People usually point to being artistically powerful, rather than “weird”. But its not uniform. Its not like someone experiences trauma and just starts typing this way.
Its like reading something written by AI. It looks fine, but then you start noticing that it uses the same way of writing everything. A pigeon will be inserted for some reason. An analogy or metaphor will involve “secrets”. Once you see it, you cant unsee it. And its the same thing here. Ive seen this writing a million times all over reddit. And its always robotic and bullshit.
Honestly, it looked like bot talk to me too. I thought you kinda broke it down in a way that I couldn’t find words for, so I appreciated it
Um, not sure how things are on Lemmy, but I am not a robot and never meant to offend other people here. I’m only speaking from my own brief experience.
That guy was a sweetheart in other ways, but he was completely ignorant of the risks choking could impose. For him, consent on intimacy meant also consent on choking, since he considered it a part of it.
And yes, this was a major reason why this relationships lasted for a very short time. We spoke about it and I hope he understood the point. It was over a decade ago, and I always thought that the guy lacked education / understanding, not conscience.
Also, “on TV” obviously meant porn. I quoted the man.
You’re perfectly fine. I recommend just blocking people like that. I’m still trying to learn to do so instead of arguing as it’s certainly improved my experience so far.
I briefly dated a man who often choked me, despite me explicitly asking him not to every time.
And you stayed to infuriate incels a bit while putting yourself in danger?
