THEY CAN’T CALL IT THAT UNLESS IT’S TRUE!

After I posted this comment, that post was the very next one in my feed. When I saw the age bit, I thought “No way.” Yes way.

It’s not researching anything, it’s regurgitating what others have fed it.

So there’s this one user who had posted about a story idea they had wanting to know how old the protagonist is. Someone replied that looking at his post history, they would guess 21-23. So I clicked the dude’s name and man, what a crazy ride. Like 80% of his posts were either about what people thought about someone in their 30s dating someone who was 21-23 (and stated in one that of course if the older person were in their 40s-50s dating a 21-23 they should be killed) or how it was impossible for a 21-23 year old to ever have sex because women didn’t want someone with no experience. I always forget his name and his posts have branched out more, but I’ll be reading something that feels slightly unhinged and then someone in the comments will make a 21-23 year old reference and I realize who I’m reading. It’s like Where’s Waldo, the text-based version.

I mostly lurk, just like how I’m primarily scrolling through this thread to see if the 21-23 year old virgin who’s looking for a 30 year old girlfriend is in here.

I would walk right up to Mick Jagger and play “Baby Shark.”

“Wait. So I’m singin’ about some dude doinkin’ my daughter?”

Oh man, this is that one? I went through their history a couple of days ago when they made one of their weird posts.

It’s a giant “UFO Awareness” ribbon. You can tell because it is the official UFO Awareness color: glowing.

And I suppose your electric bill doesn’t have a “transport fee” that’s two to three times the amount you pay for the electricity you actually use.

Nice try, local pickpocket.

She needs a sword. It’s educational.

Today’s my last day at this job before starting a new job on Monday. In addition to making the rounds and discovering how much people have appreciated my time and will miss me, one of my favorite people I deliver to gave me a painting she had made for me that will now be the first decoration at my new desk.

Next stage is some amount of time away from video games.

The stage after that is nostalgia: someone will mention one of the games you loved back in the day and you’ll think “That was when I was happiest. I should find out how to play that again.”

Then you’ll find some way to play it, whether by cobbling together some emulation software or buying some As Seen on TV handheld game that includes your game and a hundred others.

You’ll scratch a little bit of the itch, but decide to start checking out the current video game scene.

Once you realize everything now is too flashy and fast and annoying or it has some dreaded multiplayer requirement that you no longer have enough friends to fulfill and the public rooms of the game are filled with a bunch of children.

Eventually, you’ll stumble into the future’s version of Stardew Valley and be content just building quiet little worlds by yourself.

“After all, just look at what AI did for me in this photo!”

This is soup for my family!

Do jump scares count as surprises? If so, then frequently.

“Now everyone please turn to document number 43298 in your packet entitled ‘Facts About Your Mother.’”

Well sure, if you don’t take the ferry

The superior way is to eat it like corn on the cob. Start at the pointier end and chew straight back to the mangonus. Don’t forget to smother it in butter after shucking the husk.