Easily the rival in the early Pokémon games. Being so annoyingly cocky and full of themselves just to get wiped by my party’s first slot Pokémon every single time… Bruh, just get a grip on reality, would you?

Shitting in the toilet

Better make that $100 trillion (a rough estimate of the world economy’s nominal value) to make sure you don’t cripple our whole civilisation, as it would allow you to pay for basically every single company on the planet, all of which would suddenly have to invest a lot of money to move at least some of their IT infrastructure over to a GNU/Linux equivalent, much of which may not even exist yet and would have to be built from scratch.

It would allow me to pay for the training and licensing for my dream job a year earlier than I had planned (since it would take me roughly about a year to save up these last €2k that I’m still missing), which would not only massively improve my standard of living, but also turn me into a happier, more balanced and less gloomy person in general.

~2000€ would be an absolute game changer for me.

Golf is equivalent to licking an entire countryside so nobody else can use it. The only activity in human history that used more space for less people were the Apollo moon landings.

Billionaires

The catholic church uses a cross, which could be understood as a reference back to when, according to their beliefs, Jesus christ died on a cross to relieve Christians of their sins, which would’ve been almost 2000 years ago by now. That’s quite a throwback if you ask me.

My cooking. I love to cook, be it simple meals or extravagant dishes, and everyone I know loves to eat my food - which is exactly why I’d never ever do it professionally. I really don’t want to risk losing the enjoyment and relaxation I get from cooking. Being in the kitchen for an hour after i came home from work is my way to unwind after a long day.

So where are we at right now?

“We didn’t bomb the hospital, Hamas did. And even if we bombed the hospital, Hamas used it as a base. And even if they didn’t, a some of them were in there. And even if they weren’t, there were Hamas tunnels under the hospital.”

I wonder what’s next

Well, since those former colonies can’t quite work it out on their own, maybe they should just be brought back into their respective empires again? 🤔

Everything’s a joke, but nothing is. Everything’s ironic, but also everything’s serious. Jokes are meant to make light of situations, but you can’t make them about serious stuff. It’s Schrödinger’s comedy, a true definition of Metarcasm: Everything real is satire and every satire is genuine.

German: “Dich soll der Blitz beim Scheißen treffen” - Lightning shall strike you while you’re taking a shit

Best insult ever, imo.