I am impaled by the edge of the couch.

Russia has been a third world nation since the collapse of the Soviet Union. Politicians just like to use the Russian boogeyman to scare people who remember the Cold War. Putin may be a monster, but China is the real threat.

Government doing what government does best… stifling innovation in the name of “protecting our children” while heroin dealers go free on the streets. Utter nonsense!!

edit: spelling, thanks @argv_minus_one@beehaw.org

Mine would have to be Penpal.

https://creepypasta.fandom.com/wiki/Penpal