• ParadoxSeahorse@lemmy.world
    25·
    3 days ago

    I had a really close friend, we met through exes, and she was pleasantly surprised that I wanted to keep in touch (she’s straight, I’m not). We were there for each other through the worst stuff, cheaters, suicide attempts, miscarriage, abortion, parental divorce etc. even though we both now lived far apart. I was visiting and she introduced me to her new bf, he was very nice, but soon after she moved for a dream job and we did lose touch. It turned out her new bf was extremely abusive and she had been in and out of hospital. I only found out a year later when she replied to a birthday message that she had escaped him. She’s now getting married to a new guy who seems really nice.

    TLDR; I think it’s worth trying to stay in touch even when you don’t hear back for a while, sometimes they just can’t rn

  • myyass@lemmy.world
    5·
    3 days ago

    I think that my ex-fiance was one. I didn’t read between the lines, I’m not the brightest bulb. We dated for three months, and well a hug later went our separate ways. One night she calls me and asks me if she can stay the night as she has no where to go, family stuff. I say okay. One night turns to a week.

    Of course I make a move, it’s college, it was just a kiss and it went on from there. And anyone that wants to judge me; she could have easily stayed with her sister, or well any of the twenty other people of her family (I went to a family reunion later on), so yeah we ended up living together for the next five or more years. We went our separate ways because I didn’t want to have kids at the time. Still have the phone with all the rings she looked up for us. It’s a bit sad but at that point I got the general picture that it won’t work.

    • ContriteErudite@lemmy.world
      1·
      23 hours ago

      I’ve only just now learned how to ‘read between the lines’. I think that’s part of what it means to be autistic. For me, it’s not because I wasn’t the brightest bulb, but because part of me believed that people were intrinsically empathetic and just, because those are good traits, and I believed that people wanted to be good. I know now that things aren’t so simple, and though most people are good, they rely on subtext and disguise their motives to not seem blunt, rude, or simply to avoid facing something painful.

      • myyass@lemmy.world
        2·
        19 hours ago

        I think there’s a lot of really hurt people and that changes who they are. You wouldn’t believe how many people confided their past trauma to me. There’s a lot of dark people. I studied psychology, read many many books. But still I’m oblivious to a lot of things. It’s like a friend that comes out being gay, oh okay, I mean it crossed my mind, I hope you find someone—sorry I don’t roll that way.

    • BonkTheAnnoyed@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
      132·
      3 days ago

      fwiw this is one of the most common unhelpful responses from allistic people when neurodivergent people describe their experiences.

      Instead, imagine “normal life events” but but so pervasive and/or intense that it interrupts your ability to perform the basics of modern life

    • Lantsu@sopuli.xyzEnglish
      31·
      3 days ago

      I was thinking the same… We all lose people for all kinds of reasons.

    • k0e3@lemmy.caEnglish
      43·
      3 days ago

      It’s gotta be engagement bait, right?

      People post “[normal human experience] + because autism teehee” type shit so often, it’s ridiculous.

  • QueenHawlSera@piefed.socialEnglish
    11·
    3 days ago

    I had a best friend who fell into this strange religion where they believed they’d be reincarnated on a planet on the other side of the universe after death… With faeries and magick and all that good stuff.

    I made the mistake of telling hir she was never going “Home”, what she called that place… and she unfriended me forever, I still miss you PeachClover… I’ll never get over losing you.

  • arockinyourshoe@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9·
    3 days ago

    My mom’s best friend of several decades wound up passing away in her sleep one night. No warning signs, no history, no buildup. One morning, she was simply gone.

    Don’t be afraid to embrace the people closest to you. You don’t know when you can’t anymore

  • Ginny [they/she]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    7·
    3 days ago

    I haven’t had any friendships end abruptly that I’m aware of. But many friendships where I eventually realised I was the only one making an effort to maintain the friendship, and subsequently stopped bothering.

  • itsjustachairmary@lemmy.world
    4·
    3 days ago

    Suddenly just stopped responding to messages. Moved cities and just ghosted me. Shit happens I guess. Still, one of the best friendships I had and it just went up in smoke. It’s a shame. Still don’t really know why although I was being a lot more negative at the time while actively trying to hide how bad my chronic pain issues, depression and suicidality had gotten. She probably picked up a real bad vibe and bounced. Honestly, I get it.

  • TheGingerNut@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    2·
    3 days ago

    I’ve left a lot of friends behind over the years because I rarely put in the effort to maintain a friendship when my effort obviously isn’t being reciprocated, but shout out my best friend from when I was 15 to when I was 25 for ghosting me because he was beefing with someone else entirely and he wanted a clean break from that person.

    For about three days before he came back acting like nothing was fucking wrong.

    I don’t think about him much anymore, which I suppose is healing. But if his name comes up, I will drop some salt