• bizarroland@lemmy.world
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    4 days ago

    Mine is any weird word. If we’re fooling around and you say "eggplant Tamagotchi naruto hentai’ that is a good clue that something is wrong and therefore everything else needs to come to a halt until the issue is dealt with.

    • Jerkface (any/all)@lemmy.ca
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      3 days ago

      No disrespect, but: yikes! Safewords are not about “clues”. A safeword means, “I no longer consent.” It has actual legal and moral consequence. Something you make up on the spot cannot bear that kind of load, it has to be explicitly agreed upon. Or it’s not a safeword!

      I don’t know why everybody doesn’t just use “red”. A large enough portion of practitioners already use it, and it’s incredibly helpful to have a universal safeword. Say it loud and clear, at least three times. I repeat it until my partners all say it back. Fuck around with everything else (“no mean yes, Celsius means Kelvin”) but this is the place where clarity is essential for everyone’s safety, not just the bottom.

      • NudistWardrobe@lemmynsfw.com
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        3 days ago

        And don’t forget to have a gesture as well! Sometimes tapping out is easier than speaking, especially in some bdsm predicaments.

      • stevestevesteve@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        I don’t know why everybody doesn’t just use “red”

        As you said, safe words are not about clues and red is far too easy to say during sex without it meaning emergency stop. Slap me til my cheeks turn red, I love your red underwear, etc. Sure, tripling it makes it much more obvious but things like safe words should IMHO not be things that need repeated or are reasonably likely to come up in another context during sex. Speaking nonsense isn’t my favorite either but I sure don’t love “redredred” being put on a pedestal either.