Either by choice or sheer luck. What is something that has happened to you that made your life actively better?
(So far) For me it has been me finally able to move out of my parents home.
My best thing happened unexpectedly on March 15, 1973. (Probably makes me the oldest person in the room.) My high school guidance counselor died in his sleep. Bummer for him, but lucky for me. Back in the ’60s, my school system had me pegged as a gifted student, which was a one-size fits all label. That tag followed me to high school, where as a green sophomore, I was assigned the “gifted” guidance counselor, Mr. Daly. Daly was also a history teacher, and greatly loved and admired. He was a retired USMC Vietnam vet, and suffered from Marfan syndrome, giving him a strange and imposing appearance. He was a force of nature, that guy. I was 15 when we first met, and I had no idea about what I would do with my life. Because of my label, Daly had it all figured out. In his mind I was on my way to become a doctor, lawyer, CEO, etc. Yeah — no thanks. I had no goals, only passions — Photography and Design. I wanted to enroll in my school’s tech classes and follow my interests. Daly squashed that idea. Wasn’t going to happen. I was heartbroken. As a kid of 15 I had no leverage, and didn’t know how I could get what I wanted. My parents were no help; “He probably knows best” was the best they could do. A few weeks later, when I came to school on the 16th of March, word was that Mr. Daly had died the previous night. While the school was in mourning, I was a pretty happy kid. My new counselor had no objections to me taking the photo and design track. :: After high school, university and some preliminary jobs, I started my own marketing communications business (then called freelancing, today gig work) and continued for 30+ years by myself. Of course the work had its ups and downs, but I was happy and always employed. :: Now I’m 66 and retired, and I always wonder what my life would be like if Mr. Daly had lived and imposed his vision on my life. Guess I got lucky. :: Rest in peace, Mr. D.
This is a really well told and interesting answer. Thank you for sharing!
Amazing story. Indeed thank you for sharing! 💜🧡
You’re older than I am, but not by a lot.
My guidance counsellor moment was probably around 1975-76. I was deep into comp sci; a friend would tell me years later that the teacher knew less than at least a couple of us. I would ask him a question, he would say he’d look into it. Unbeknownst to me, he wandered over to the other advanced student (Phil) and put my question to him. Phil would reply, teacher would make his way back to me and share the knowledge. The same thing would happen if Phil had a question; teacher would come to me for the answer.
My friend watched this whole thing with amusement.
Now for the GC moment. Career counselling.
I went to the GC’s office full of electric enthusiasm, hoping to learn of the great CS things that awaited me after uni. I told him about my love and fascination with computers. He had the reaction, the kind a parent has when they need to tell their child their favourite pet has died. He told me that it might be fun and make for an interesting hobby, but that there were no computer-related careers. And that I should consider another vocation. I was crushed.
I even spent some years in university studying things that were unrelated to CS. My career didn’t get any traction until about 10 years after HS, unsurprisingly in the field I was most passionate about.
Anyway, I’ve been a computer professional for about 35 years now.
Escaped religion.
Same, what a challenging but worthwhile journey.
Growing up in the clutches of devout religious thinking had such a profoundly negative impact on my mental health and view of the world in general that relinquishing it was one of the most refreshing and revitalizing experiences of my life.
Religion teaches you that this life is only important as a stepping stone to eternity, that leads to some incredibly short sighted and unhealthy living. Accepting that this life is actually important for its own sake instead of as some sort of twisted game from some random deity helped me begin to make choices that objectively did more for humanity and myself.
Religion teaches you that evidence and logic are not routes to “truth” but feelings, faith, and obedience are. Untangling that mess was tough, as a result for decades now every single thought and belief has been in question. The pain of being so wrong but so convinced I was right has led to a bit of an issue allowing myself to believe anything
Religion is one of the largest stains on our species. I don’t blame religious people, they’re victims, but by george do I hate that we have perpetuated such tragic belief systems.
Me too. I was going to be a preacher. I went and studied at a place where people from all around the world (mostly Africa) came to live and study. I met some interesting people and I loved the experience.
That was going to be my life. I thought nothing was more important than saving eternal souls.
I met the only atheist I had ever known at that point. I was 17. I just couldn’t convince him. He told me to go online and look at other religions. Not the religions themselves, but the people who practiced them. He asked me to observe their passion and relate it to my own. He said that if I asked the right questions I’d come to the same conclusions as him. He wasn’t trying to convince me, he wanted me to convince myself.
Oh boy, that changed my life forever.
I had a zit on my armpit that made an audible pop, my soul still shivers from that one. Also marrying my husband.
Got blitzed out of my mind on ecstasy and mushrooms and wrote some passionate emails which got me a full scholarship
Transitioning 🏳️⚧️
+1. Also I like your name!
Ty, ditto on your avatar! ⚡💀⚡
Getting sober
It allowed me to actually sort through all of my mental health problems and confront myself on who I was and who I wanted to be
Not to mention how much my physical health has improved
It was honestly the hardest thing I’ve done as well given that I started drinking when I was 12.
I’ve been sober now for 6 years
Edit: In 6 years it will go from “the longest I’ve been sober since I started drinking” to “The longest stretch of time I’ve been sober in my whole life”
Hell yeah, I’m at 5 and a half myself. Really helps me keep my priorities straight.
Learned a trade that I love as a career (industrial electrician), fell in love with my boyfriend, bought and renovated a home from 1890 together, plan to get married eventually!
Congrats!
Living as an openly gay man. It felt like I was finally able to breathe
The woman I loved decided to give it a go. 13 years later, we’re a super happy family.
PS: also, being bi and resisting the social urge to “be true to myself” and go gay, assuming the straight part was obviously bullshit.
By luck: meeting my husband online in a random forum. Self explanatory.
By choice: getting top surgery (a double mastectomy). What a literal and figurative weight off my chest! Being able to just walk outside without wrestling into a binder or being worried about if people noticed my chest was such a game changer. You don’t realize what a gift it is to be able to get up and go outside on a whim until you can’t do it.
You couldn’t do it because of their size? Or other compounding factors?
being born in a place where i am not genocided for being myself (yet)
sigh
Said screw it and moved to Korea.
I was incredibly lucky and met a Korean in school, so I was able to get all the info I needed about what to expect. I’ve been here 3 years now, sure I miss my family and friends but I’ve been granted a new life.
To anyone who thinks their life sucks: move. Everyone has an excuse, but at the end of the day you’ll either stay where you are until you die, or you’ll go somewhere new.
I’ve been in Korea for coming up on 14 years. It’s really a great place to live.
It’s not so easy to just “move” like you say. Most people can’t afford to uproot their lives and start somewhere else. Im happy for you but don’t assume others can just “move” if things are bad for them.
I made this comment explicitly because people say it’s not easy to just “move”. The truth is… Yea, of course it’s hard. But unless you have a health condition that requires weekly hospital attendance, it’s a matter of how much you want it
That’s not true at all. Many are living paycheck to paycheck and can’t afford the price of a major change like this. “It’s a matter of how much you want it” is a brain dead reply. There are people who literally cant afford to live where they are now.
Teaching jobs will pay for your flight and accommodation (provided you have a degree) . I came to Korea with just enough cash to survive for a month. It’s actually not expensive.
You are making so many assumptions it’s insane. Not everybody has a degree in teaching. Just stop
Bro you are the insane one here, they were just motivating people, no need to be so toxic
You don’t need a degree in teaching. Any degree is enough to meet the visa requirements. If you’re single and have no pets it is actually pretty easy.
It must be nice to come from a world where you can just get any degree you want and then have the ability to move whenever you want and find any job in a new country and have the money to float the whole process.
Another option would be to become a volunteer and join an organisation that does volunteering work abroad. There are possibilities for them sponsoring your flights, accommodation, and meals.
Meeting my spouse. They make me want to be a better person.
Yeah. My toxic as shit ex wife decided she wanted a divorce. What I perceived to be the worst day of my life was actually the best day of my life I just didn’t know it yet.
I met this extremely successful woman that has shown me life can be amazing. I never thought life could be this good.
That’s a long list but here’s a few things.
- Going to therapy.
- Being willing to forgive and make peace with my dad.
- Seeking medical treatment for my ADHD.
- Getting a septoplasty. (Who knew being able to breathe through you nose was so great.)
- Divorcing my first wife, who is a truly awful person.
- Saying yes to a date with my (now) wife, who is an awesome person.
- Learning to love myself just the way I am.
- Taking an active role in managing my finances.
Nothing.
Life has been on a slow, downward slide since I was a teenager.
