“I walked into a tart shop and condescended to people who discuss tarts”

I don’t know what I expected…

Get crackin!

I suggest trying to hook up with a Russian girl. Hymn To Red October is a banger, and it’s pretty long

Yeah that’s a crazy out of touch thing to say. That is exactly what every person does at every gas station.

Next time ask her to hum the national anthem while she’s doing it. No shame in this game

So a straight bj is 5/10 but a hummer is 10/10? You got a peculiar dick my friend

The impact cracked the then 20-year-old’s skull, causing a traumatic brain injury

Sounds about right

The functionality of a tablet with the portability of a phone. Seems straightforward and practical to me idk

What could go wrong?

No one in history has ever asked “when” a team lost

Being dumb and drunk is not new to humanity