The Onion should use Infowars to teach the Constitution.

“Withdraw Troops” means evacuate injured soldiers, sailors and marines from destroyed ME bases back stateside to ease overcrowding in Germany.

5000 injured by Iran, got it.

5000 injured from Iranian attacks, understood.

First, he can’t read anything that doesn’t praise him which is then traitorous.

Second, 76 47, no 96 47, no 187 … Oh you know what I mean.

Waaah, it’s treasonous to point out everything I’ve fucked up, waaah!

Gotta pay and feed your soldiers and sailors and pilots to keep that military running.

What waste energy? Focus on what would hurt him more like his name on fucking buildings.

“There’s a difference between a 15-year-old and a 5-year-old, you know?”

• Megyn Kelly

“I’m not a pedo, no, no”

I don’t like Jeffries but he’s correct here. No point in impeaching him cause he’s never removed. Better off just blocking off and reversing every executive decision he’s made.

When are they gonna frog march him in the open like Luigi?

In all fairness, he calls all other countries “hellholes” or “shitholes”.

But if you think everyone else is an asshole, then you’re the asshole.

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It’s also a T-SQL thing, Microsoft SQL Server. “!=” is more programmatically recognizable.

They must have cut down the bounty bonuses

We never needed a god.

Revoke his Asian card.

New name: Hank Cow.

Probable dead from auto-erotic asphyxiation, in a leather gimp suit, hanging in a wardrobe.

You said cum