I just want to be touched. That’s it. I want someone to touch me and tell me how much they want me.

My wife is going through chemo for breast cancer, and even before that she didn’t have the highest sex drive (that’s not a complaint, just a fact). And that’s fine, I don’t expect her to be into sex right now. Who would?

But the last few months has just been non-stop. Kids birthdays, holidays, chores, after school sports, making lunches, groceries. It’s too much.

I just want someone to take care of me for like twenty minutes.

Nothing says ‘independent thinker’ like allegedly turning your protection detail into a midlife crisis with an NDA.

I would rather never touch a computer again than rent one.