Thanks for helping to validate my comment haha. I do appreciate it.

Is there anything specific you’ve done and would recommend to help swing in the other direction like you’ve stated?

Was curious as to what you might have found helpful. I had tried the beginnings of CBT in the past, but it just makes me feel bad and frustrated. I have always been taught that my thoughts and feelings are wrong, and that’s effectively the core of CBT. I don’t like it because it just propagates how everything I think and feel is invalid. Yet it’s the “trendy” thing to do nowadays so every therapist and their mother uses it as their modality.

Interestingly though I don’t think that this issue necessarily stems from deliberately toxic parents. My mom did the best she could and is very loving and nurturing but I was just too much for her to know how to deal with in this way.

When I was a kid, I would always get in trouble for getting upset. No one ever wanted to know why I was upset. They just wanted me to shut the fuck up and I often had a hard time doing so. I really wish things would have been handled the way you describe. My siblings didn’t have the same problems as me in this way so it has always made me feel alone in feeling what I feel. Now as an adult, I never know if what I’m feeling is real and valid… usually I think it isn’t.

Anyway sorry that was only tangentially related.

So why do you feel that it’s ok for your dad to have multiple wives, but not for his wives to have multiple husbands? Curious.

Lol! She was a real “mean girl” growing up. I’m hesitant to outright call her a bully because she wasn’t ever direct like that, but she played a part in making multiple people’s lives kind of miserable tbh.

Really not that shocking at all compared to many… occasionally finding out someone is dead and etc.

But one of the ones that got me was finding out that the girl who I grew up… initially was sort of friends with and eventually painfully shunned me and treated me like an alien eventually became a therapist lmao

I like how casual her “ow” sounded when being mauled by a cheetah

I run in the local park! Tbh it’s not the prettiest of parks but it’s ok. Sometimes if I get there early enough, I get to see some animals like deer or the birds will be out sometimes with their babies.

I worked extra hours because work had been insanely busy. My supervisor decided to give me a lecture about some incredibly minor thing I did wrong so that was fun when I already was overworked. She loves picking at everyone like that. Then the following day I ran 11 miles which is the farthest I ever ran. But otherwise I was just at home alone.

Do you mind expanding on this? What habits are you tracking?

I thought the normal way was to crawl up on all fours like an animal

First, I do NOT work in IT or anything like that. But I seem to be the most tech savvy of all my coworkers. Occasionally one of them will ask for help and I’ll fix something for them. Sometimes one of them will comment that I am good with computers or something. Honestly, I figure things out just by clicking on everything. I think sometimes people are too afraid to click too many things for fear of breaking stuff, but there’s not a whole lot that can go catastrophically wrong imo. I tend to just click shit until I figure out what to do.

Same here. I remember about once a year growing up the school would have a day or so dedicated to the topic. I remember once as a pre teen my mom tried to give me a book on puberty for some reason. I found it embarrassing so I never read it but I never felt I needed to. The school’s teachings were sufficient.

Iirc as a younger kid they focused a bit more on changes to your own body. And then as I got older, they got to talking more about the physical act of sex.

Z Flip user here! I’ve been loving this phone. I’ve had a Z Flip since I think maybe 2022 now? Anyway, still enjoying the thing. Main reason I got it was the same reason you did… pocketability.

Modern smartphones are just so ridiculously huge that they don’t fit in the ridiculously small women’s pants pockets. I love that I can actually bring a modern smartphone everywhere without needing a purse or bag. Bonus is that it’s also just fun to open and close it… especially when hanging up calls lol.

I’m pretty sure some choking victims literally do die that way! As a socially anxious person, I feel that hardcore.

Somehow I’ve never actually fainted but I’ve had near fainting episodes tons of times. Literally every single time I’ve been too embarrassed to say anything to anyone or take immediate logical action bahaha! One time when I was a teen at dance class I started feeling that way. Decided to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I was walking down the hall, my vision went black and I had to literally feel for the bathroom door. No idea how I made it in there without fully passing out but it’s funny how self conscious I am to do that. I sat on the floor for a few minutes before going back to class. 🙃

Hope you’re doing ok now!

I remember one day realizing it was odd that my dad would hug my mom but my mom would never hug him back. She would just stand there and let him hug her. Yeah he was an abusive husband and I was very happy for her when she finally left him after over a decade!

Objectively you sound very successful and like you’ve really got your shit together! Not everyone at your age is as successful as you are! You should be proud of what you have accomplished from working hard. I’m sorry that your girlfriend’s family are assholes. The road to success does not look the same for everyone. People find their way in the world in different ways and that’s ok. I hope your girlfriend is supportive of you.

I apologize compulsively at work and this thread is making me feel some type of way. Seems like everyone must hate me for it based on this thread I guess. It’s like I’m in an unwinnable scenario of bothering people if I fuck up and bothering people if I apologize about it. So then what?

I mean things used to make more “sense” time and energy wise when you were able to have one parent work and one parent stay home. But it’s just not really financially feasible nowadays. The people I know with kids are absolutely fucking drowning right now trying to both work and take care of the home life. I feel bad for them but there’s not much I can do about it. It’s not my family.