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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 17th, 2023

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  • Find a place where you live to have a “sit spot” every day. Ideally outside, but if weather doesn’t cooperate, where you can see outside. You don’t have to do or think anything, just sit (or stand) and enjoy the view. It doesn’t need to be epic, just something you like looking at. (In one of my places, it was the way a particular building interrupted the horizon that I found interesting.) No phone, no computer, no book - just breathe and observe.

    It doesn’t need to be for long. Start with two to five minutes. I usually do longer when I can.

    Yes, it’s a type of meditation. But a type that works better for this neurospicy gal than sitting in utter stillness or listening to music.

    Currently, it’s the picnic table near my bird feeders first thing after waking for my spot. In the morning and evening they are most active, so I sit with a cuppa and enjoy watching them negotiate who eats first while I wake up and caffeinate. It soothes my nervous system in a way notifications and doomscrolling can’t, and makes me better able to handle my day.


  • Mine was right next to a front tooth (incisor). I hear you. You will still be able to bite normally.

    Remember your new crown will be a bit tougher, so you will still be able to chew. Your dentist will help you test that prior so you won’t be released without being able to use everything like you should.

    I had stopped chewing on that side of my mouth because of the tooth damage, so it took practice to remember to use those teeth again.


  • I had one, from a tooth that got damaged with braces as a teenager. It finally got to the point in my 40s that it hurt all the time and couldn’t be saved. My dentist suggested the root canal. Like you, I was scared.

    I didn’t need to be scared. It barely hurt after - in 48 hours it was like it never happened. During the procedure (maybe 75 minutes total?) they had really good pain blocks. My advise is to let them know your fear. Good dentists/endodontists expect it and have ways to help you.

    If you’ve been in pain from this for a while, you have already been feeling the worst of it. It’ll be so much better afterwards. Really!

    They will likely fit you with a temporary crown to protect the remaining tooth until a proper crown is ready. Most of the pain will be from your irritated gums after the procedure, which will ache. Root canals terminate the damaged tooth nerves, so you may need to relearn how to chew on that tooth a bit. But did I mention it won’t hurt?




  • Selling.

    The HOA changed management companies about three months before I moved out. New one couldn’t be bothered to provide the condo docs and required legal paperwork to me, the seller, my lawyer, or either realtor for the transaction, despite repeated requests. (My copies from my purchase were not enough for the bank.) Without it, the transaction could not close. We made it, barely, but their sluggishness almost destroyed the sale and the purchase of my next home, as the transactions were all dependent.

    It took my realtor camping out in the HOA office to get copies. According to her, she showed up and was waiting for them and sat there for two hours while they photocopied, printed and generally fucked around pretending it was too hard to find.

    They tried to claim I was behind in my dues too, but I’d anticipated that strategy, and emailed my realtor pictures of the cancelled dues checks AND the notarized statement from the outgoing management company saying I was paid in full at the time of handover.

    I was glad to move out. Apparently they didn’t get better as I saw a lot of units for sale in the next year.


  • I work in procurement. That means I negotiate with suppliers all day, every day. I’m the one the team calls when they need something fixed, and want something better than using a big hammer or lighting everything on fire.

    The absolute best tip was courtesy of my first boss in the field:

    "Always be prepared to walk away and say ‘No, thank you’. "

    You won’t look weak (except to the wrong people). Instead you’ll come across as empowered, that you know what you want, have no tolerance for games, but also can be trusted. Very few people like people who always say yes, no matter what anxiety says. In order to be here, it’s important to have options and choices you can accept. Be ready to jump rails if it looks like you won’t get your first choice. That’s how good negotiators in my field do it - they have several acceptable options.

    It’s still not easy to do. It requires perseverance and flexibility. Allow yourself to practice in lower-risk situations.


  • Unless you need/like to stand before takeoff, I don’t see the point. I don’t mind if people do, as long as they are polite.

    Bag space woes? It’s real, but seriously see what you can do without. I fly for work at least once a month and I’m a pro one bagger for trips of 4 days or less; more if I’m doing summer weight clothes. It means I rewear things if they are clean and sometimes wash clothes in my hotel, but damn does it make travel easy.

    Checked bag fees suck. Be the first to volunteer to gate check. I can only recall one flight in the last few months where an announcement wasn’t made. The bag is waiting at the destination gate so you don’t even have to handle bag claim. I do it every time I travel.


  • This is why I won’t fly Southwest unless I have no other choice. Nice planes and otherwise lovely flight experience; shame about the seat policy. Every time I’ve tried, it’s a confused mess of pushy or perplexed people in line, and I end up completely annoyed before takeoff.

    On the flip side, it’s free birth control. 😋

    I’d rather sit and knit until my group is called and stroll up without rushing as I know exactly where I’m sitting. I watch people stress. SMH