“Okay, look, I understand this may be presenting as if I am in a manic episode, I get it. And I get that I have pulled every item from the storage room and am now in the process of reorganizing the entire basement. And yes, it is 3 A.M., but I really don’t see how that is relevant. Honestly, have you considered that I am going to need a lot more space to keep all the wood I just found on the side of the road? I swear, it’s like you don’t support my much-loved woodworking hobby I started 6 hours ago.”
"Oooh, you know what? I’m going to give in and just build an extension to the garage for a new workshop. No, I don’t know how to build anything, but I have resources and it can’t be that difficult. It’ll be done in three days, I really feel like you underestimate just how motivated of a person I am. "
Two weeks later, I’m hyper-ventilating in the fetal position on the floor of my closet when the city cops come out to say something has to be done with the rotting shit-wood awkwardly slapped together and nailed to the side of the garage.
What’s the opposite of “eating the onion”? I thought this was satire for sure.