This time of year is meant to be filled with joy and family get-togethers, but not everyone has family or anything to be happy about. So are you ok?
Fuck no, I have 4 years of industry experience and my industry is basically falling apart. I haven’t been able to find work since March. Even construction labour jobs requiring no experience wont call me back. If I cant make something work soon I might just decide to french kiss an electrical socket.
Update:
I found a job. It does not pay that well but its in my industry and there are great individual liberties that come with the job. It took 18 months, getting EI, running out of EI, and being forced to throw out/sell a bunch of my stuff and rent out my home to overcome this. If I were most other people without the support system I have available to me, I’d be fucking homeless. Fuck the status quo.
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Sadly not. I still have no friends, and no one to talk to. I recently escaped from being literal forced labor for a gang, and am now trying to put life back together without telling my family.
My family are all very catholic, and they’d want my head on a stick if they knew I was stuck working for a gang, despite it being against my will.
Christmas is gonna be hard, because I’ll have to resist the urge to let out those emotions, as they’re the only people I talk to. Still looking for a good friend :(
Fuck no. Probably the worst year yet and always declining.
I’d kill myself if it wasn’t for the fact it’d destroy my mother.
We moved 4h away from most of our families and we’re trying back for a week but traveling feels like a chore but at the same time I’ll get to see some friends I haven’t seen in months so… Eh, it is what it is 🤷
I’m a trainwreck right now.
My grandfather suddenly passed away after a prolonged battle with cancer, multiple strokes, and COVID. It was brutal, he was in so much pain for months. What really hurts is that he was a wonderful person, a source of great joy and insight, and most definitely the person who got me into computers at a young age. My youngest coherent memories are of him, and the loss is exceedingly painful.
My stepfather pointed a loaded gun at my autistic little brother and basically kicked him to the street. My little brother has had his fair share of problems with holding down any kind of job, and can barely take care of himself. He was kicked out of a shelter for a messy living space, and living out of a tent next to a YMCA.
My mom was living in fear for a while, as my stepdad increasingly became more paranoid and violent, to the point that she was no longer allowed to talk to us on the phone if he came home. She managed to give him the slip and take the kids with her to go take care of the grandfather on the other side of the country…but, she’s in for a messy divorce.
These three things have kind of converged, and a lot of it is starting to resolve finally, but it’s been a massive strain on my mental health and my marriage. I’m barely taking care of myself most of the time, and trying to live with anxiety, depression, suicidal ideation…and all of the fun side effects of trying to treat those things with therapy and medication.
I’m so tired. I’m barely eating. I have six months left in a maintenance squadron before I get out of the military, and all I want to do is scream.
Nope, not ok.
Doctors told me I have autism a year ago, I told my family, they thought I was delusional and insane and tried to force me into a mental asylum in the middle of nowhere.
Got all my stuff, put it in my car… got mugged, car got stolen, spent a year homeless. Credit ruined, everything I have ever owned is gone, and the best part was all the rest of my friends and family either didnt believe me when I told them what was happening to me, thought I was insane… or were too busy to handle all my drama right now.
At least I can write on lemmy I guess.
How does it go from “the doctor’s tell me I have autism” to “you’re delusional and insane”? That can’t be the only thing that happened, I mean that you told your family?
My father is a delusional QTard who believes that Tom Hanks’ son kills eats and rapes children for adrenochrome, believes that ANTIFA did Jan 6th, and took great pride in showing me where and how he assembles firearms without serial numbers. Also he drank and drove so much he had to have an interlock device on his car for 7 years.
My brother, who I was living with, barely passed high school as he was spending all his time going to raves, doing so much MDMA/Ecstasy that he gave himself Serotonin Shock Syndrome, believes Shadow People are real, believes he can see peoples ‘auras’, was constantly pressuring me into doing hallucinogenic mushrooms, and believes it is funny to gaslight his schizoeffective girlfriend by telling her that everything that she did or said to him in the past 30 minutes /did not actually happen/, and then go ‘haha just kidding, love you babe smooch’
My mother has a neurological disorder, spent her childhood doing any random drugs anyone would hand her on the street, and just generally speaking has the emotional and intellectual capacity of an 8 year old.
I would go on but I think you get the idea.
Quite literally by the time I was a preteen I was placed into an advanced education track at my middle school, and would come home to my entire family having insane emotional breakdowns and fights with each other all the time, and I actually just went online and to the library, learned basic psychology and would have to stop all their arguments via de escalation and leading group therapy sessions, basically everyday, until I gave up and just moved the family computer into my room and put headphones on.
Took me 34 years and nearly dying many times now to realize my family has always been completely insane, and they are incapable of changing.
This is not a healthy environment for neurotypical people. You are basically Matilda. ;) I hope you find a safe home and safe space and keep away from these people.
Hah, Matilda, no one has ever called me that before. =)
Yeah, I plan on never speaking to any of them ever again. I would prefer they think I am dead, as they are dead to me.
Aha also I cannot help myself with a nitpick:
Autistic people are neurodiverse, as well as I think uh ADHD and schizoid types and i think there is one other major one.
Normies are neurotypical, lol.
Aha also I cannot help myself with a nitpick:
Autistic people are neurodiverse
Akshually, its ‘neurodivergent’.
Sorry 😭
Neurospicy
Haha, counter-nitpicked! =)
No, not even remotely. I actually feel worst than ever. But I also feel so paralyzed and hopeless.
The world is going to shit, civilization is going to shit, our scientific progress seems to be constantly hampered, and quite a bit of my expectation that we might get a significative push towards communism this decade has vanished. So yeah, I’m great.
That last one does genuinely make me feel swell.
Yes, people with lesser minds do tend to feel that way.
Human minds**
It’s funny because it seems like the universe is saying, “Hey Slurpee. Why don’t you become an alcoholic? It’ll be fun.” Not that I drink habitually or a lot. It just seems alcohol is being pushed everywhere I go.
Work sucks because I have to do it. I imagine all the shit I’d have time to do if I didn’t have to work, both things I need to do and want to do. When I get done with work for the day, I feel too traumatized to do anything. So I put myself on autopilot until I can turn the world off and go to bed.
I got a bit of satisfaction last week when I went to an event where I got to sit on a chair and do nothing for an hour. And that’s all that was expected of me.
Oh, and a bucket of hammers from lemmygrad called me a Nazi, which would be laughable if they weren’t so serious about their “beliefs”.
This is the sixth Christmas without Mom.
She was my link to the family. I don’t hear from anyone except my sister and dad. I miss them all.
No :(
I don’t think I am. I’ve been in a very unstable mental condition throughout this year. I even posted my edgy poem on c/showerthoughts. I’ve opened WPD several times this year.
Not really. Money’s tighter than usual, and work has been more stressful than usual. I’m burnt out and just need a little reprieve from everything right now, y’know.
