I’m not assuming OP is a woman. I’m assuming OP is probably a middle aged man pretending to be a woman

You normally work 7 days a week and you’re the only attractive woman that works as a bartender on the beach at a vacation destination?

no.

you are a sweetie pie.

for optimum flavor the small child needs to fit in a size husky pair of Sears Toughskins.

Not being able to figure this one out makes so much sense now - I was today years old when I first heard about Sears Toughskins. I also definitely didn’t buy some on eBay in the time between seeing your reply and typing this out. That would obviously be an insane thing to do (they should be here sometime next week)

The language you used for this recipe is nothing short of amazing and you should really consider writing a cookbook lol. I’m having a little bit of a tough time with one of the requirements though.

I feel like I’m pretty decent when it comes to units of glops, squirts, and shakes (also happens to be the name of the mixtape I’ll be dropping this upcoming fall). What are the maximum dimensions of the small child who should be doing the mashing though? Pease feel free to answer in any unit of measurement you see fit 🙃

I think it’s actually gonna be much worse since that is clearly a 4000 year old ghoul who will be roaming graveyards long after we’ve all decayed into dust

Imagine if men had an actual need for an app like this

Doesn’t sound like a bad idea, but there might be some better options depending on the type of media you plan on using it for.

If you’re mostly gonna use it for listening to music, you should look into a PMP/DAP. I’ve been wanting to buy one for a while and the FiiO players seem to get a lot of love. The higher-end ones usually run Android but they’ll probably be more expensive than an Xperia Z21 Compact. They’re designed with audio as the main focus though. There are also a lot of cheaper options that’ll give you a better audio experience than an Android phone—the FiiO Echo Mini is only $70 USD, but I don’t think there’s much more you can do with them other than listen to music.

I haven’t looked into video playback at all, but the higher-end ones usually have screens comparable to the Z21 Compact, and I wouldn’t be surprised if some have better displays. A screen as small as the ones you’ll find on the Z21 or an Android PMP isn’t gonna offer that great of a video experience no matter how good the resolution or refresh rate is though.

Another bonus with the higher-end PMPs is some of them can be used as a DAC, which is pretty effin rad imo.

FiiO also seems to have a pretty active modding community and some custom ROMs are available too. And if the audio quality on Xperia devices is as trash as it was on the Pixel 6 running LineageOS I was using up until last year then you’re definitely gonna want to root it (if possible) and install ViPER4Android.

Another option is Rockbox. If you have a compatible MP3 player lying around, might be worth trying that before making a decision.