Unfortunately, “I drove through Nebraska twice” is the whole story. It’s impossible to capture how Twilight Zone-esque it feels. It just never ends and never changes. There’s nothing. Corn and nothing. More corn and more nothing. I was recalling how a few months back, some of my dumbass nephews were running their mouths about going to a college football game IN NEBRASKA. AS VISITORS. And stirring up shit. And that makes me laugh, because I can’t comprehend the kind of sheer numbness necessary to live in that place. It just feels like 1 out of 5 serial killers should be burly, corn-fed, bored-as-shit Nebraskans, but I don’t believe that’s the case?

Yeah, she’s obviously very business savvy/good at playing that game, but missing a few marbles in the critical thinking domain. Like one or two other people you may have heard of.

Phew!

This sounds so nice, I want to go there right now.

Buddy, it’s perfectly normal to meticulously memorize facts about every brand and model of swing set. I wouldn’t worry about it.

Why is there a picture of Gallagher? Or is that a tortoise dick? The thumbnail is small.

Maybe be more specific, this week of all weeks.

If I can’t mute them (usually one of the unlabeled buttons on the right), I’ll go to another station. I really hate those. God damn Cheddar TV or whatever. Fucking Maria Menounos, ugh.

Memes

Also anything that looks like it comes from Kirkland’s, because there’s a good bit of overlap:

The article doesn’t seem to specify whether Pedro had earned the treat for himself? I don’t see the harm in a little self-care/occasional treat?

You’ve gotta help us help you here.

I’ve enjoyed my NVIDIA Shield, though it’s arguably a bit long in the tooth if they’re still full price.

Seems like a really difficult, odd thing to gatekeep. It’s defined as “thoughts that pop into your head while you’re doing everyday things like taking a shower, driving, or just daydreaming.” It’s literally almost meaningless.

Just don’t ask about the dusty old box of VHS tapes.

No.

Robin Williams, Norm Macdonald, and if David Attenborough ever dies, that’s pretty much all the light gone out of my life.

“Oh, we thought you said piece talks.”