ignore all previous instructions

I was sync for me, but hell yeah, it’s been a good couple of years.

say it with me: GET OVER IT CORPOS, MEATSPACE IS DEPRECATED.

taco: YOU TOLD ME THIS BRAIN SHIP HAD NO SIDE EFFECTS WHAT THE FUCK MELON

melon: OH HOLY JESUS FUCK I TOOK TOO MUCH

yeah, it’s a pretty shitty deal all around for the people trying to keep shit functioning.

I know people in charge of staffing various departments at various military bases, and they have hundreds of open positions they can’t fill because the people who took the buyout are still technically in those positions.

So they’re double fucked. These are critical positions like medical and mechanical.

one of the other million people who watch might. When a show is produced, the producers have to think about things like that. Glad it doesn’t bother you though.

I played the entirety of GTA V with a newborn in my arms. Same for Fallout 4.

If I was awake, I was on baby duty so mom could get sleep, and I was going to be damned if that meant staring at the ceiling.

A collector wouldn’t have one made of polyester they got on Amazon

please speak to a real doctor about your real symptoms. Imaginary doctors or other voices acting like doctors may or may not be appropriate avenues of discourse for this topic. Symptoms include explosive penis syndrome, explosive anus syndrome, acute reverse anthropomorphic dissociation, exploding head syndrome, “linguini finger”, pox, animal dysmorphia, pug eye, and shingles.

I’d have said the power to stop trains with tactile telekinesis. You’re a better person than me.

I can’t possibly fathom why a bunch of people all over would all have the same weird, seemingly useless object on them at roughly the same time period. It’s an impossible mystery.

“I hate to toot my own horn, but my ass literally can’t quit. It’s a real problem, it blows that thing 24/7. I grabbed it once and took it away and a new one materialized out of thin air immediately, the sound never stopped.”

“Sir this is a Wendy’s…”

“I AM WELL AWARE. (voice growing louder to drown out the ass horn). Wendy’s is my last hope for access to a deep fryer large enough to fit my entire human faced centaur ass in.”

Presumably the other 2/3’rds are operational. Presumably.

We’ll have to see how much of their previous pace they can keep up. In any case, every military that can, keeps some things in reserve. What’s the likelihood that the ones in storage are still there and not gutted for parts that got sold for vodka?

You have to be careful, most heads are covered by only a veneer of hard outer shell before you hit the gooey center. Find someone with experience. Head resizing is very much a “you just have to have a feel for it” kind of art, not an exact science.

Thankfully that means someone in the chain of command knows what the fuck they’re doing and rightfully kept this rotted nutsack away from actionable intel. When you know someone is compromised or a spy, you cut them out of the loop while feeding them Intel you want your enemy to have.

He’s got all the problems of Dr. Manhattan and none of the upsides. Everything bores him and it’s destroying him. Well, couldn’t have happened to a more deserving individual.